Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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