If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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