i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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