Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
