I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
