He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
