I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You may now shotgun with the bride
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
