2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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