so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
