no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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