dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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