I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
