the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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