Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
