I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
