I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just threw up on my dentist
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize