can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
