Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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