I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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