Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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