i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
