im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
