Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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