:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
