someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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