I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
