I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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