I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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