doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize