You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
