let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
