Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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