matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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