Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
