WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
