I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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