It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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