Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
