Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
