Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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