I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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