so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
