she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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