on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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