I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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