if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
