Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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