I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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