I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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