next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
