She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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