I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
