she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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