Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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