We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
