So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
