i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's rum buckets o'clock
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