his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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