i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
