I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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