we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
