im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
wow bdsm is so cute
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
