he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
