OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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