New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
