We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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