its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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