Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
