Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
