fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
